Choosing a Knife for the Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie Apocalypse: Target PracticeHere’s the scenario: You’re returning to town after a weekend hunting trip with your best friends. You pull into the local gas station to refuel and notice the station is being overrun by a hoard of zombies. It appears the Zombie Apocalypse has begun.

Low on gas, you have no choice but to fight your way out. Luckily, you have your hunting gear with you, including your hunting knife. Skinning a deer is one thing, but what types of knives would work best against zombies? We’ve got a few theories on that.

What works: With zombies clawing for your brains, you need a knife with a medium to long blade and a good handle grip. A strong grip is important when trying to behead zombies (that’s the only way to kill them without firearms, by the way). Anything serrated and made with strong, high-quality steel should do the trick. For example, consider a stainless steel bowie hunting knife with a strong grip, or even a Damascus skinner with a solid bone grip and metal guard. Remember, hacking works best; stabbing a zombie won’t do much good, as it will only get you stuck or worse. So focus on a strong blade that you can control efficiently.

What not to use: If you can possibly avoid it, never face a zombie at close range with a kitchen knife, butterfly knife, pocket knife, switchblade, multi-tool or any other small knife that isn’t strong and sharp enough to cut through flesh and bone. Consider small blades a last-ditch effort; you’d be better off running away than fighting a hoard of zombies up close and personal. Of course, when there’s no other choice, even a multi-tool is better than nothing.

Zombie survival tactics: If possible, choose a blunt weapon – like a baseball bat, frying pan or large stick – and throw your knives before choosing close combat. You try slowing the zombies down with a long-range knife throw and then beat them back as you run with your blunt weapon. If you have no other choice, just use what you have, even if that means wielding a pen, kitchen or pocket knife. Don’t forget your stock of fishing knives or those camping cutlery blades – the more you have to throw, the better! Throw hard and fast, but with some attempt at accuracy.

Ultimately, if you’re ever swarmed by zombies, your skill and resourcefulness will prove much more important than the type of weapon you carry. Remember, it’s all about your brains; use ’em or lose ’em.

[ photo by: cwsteeds ]

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